After all the stupid shit that i’ve been into i’ve found some really good happiness, i’ve been doing all the things i used to like, i do partys, i go out with friends and some other nice things.
There’s this person who asked me to go back to Toronto with, like tryin’ to find a new life, the life we haven’t found here in Mexico.
The first thing i wanted once Zi and I broke up was to run away and go back to Toronto, but i think i was so in love with her so i waited a few time just like waitin for her to change her mind, it didn’t happen in deed or at least i never knew.
I can’t say Zi is so over, i still thinkin’ of her some times, i cry no more cause i’ve learned not to do things that are meaningless.
I can’t skip that the first person i thought about was Zi, last week we spoke and she told me if we were on Canada we’d still together, i couldn’t stop cryin, it was like a torrential pour rainning, she just told me so many things that reminds me how much i was in love with her, now i’m going back to Toronto and i couldn’t avoid to think how much i wanted to go with Zi, to leave this country and have the life we both wanted.
Before this person told me to go back with i was makin some personal plans, i expected to be there before the year ends, im sure its gonna be like that and if i can go with someone instead myself it’d be great.
I’m not sure what’s goin’ on down here, i mean theres this girl who i’ve been datin about 2 weeks, i really like her but she’s not ready for a relation-ship, then Zi called me and we talked about things we didn’t have to, she told me all those sweet things about how much she loved me, so i told her how much i loved her but we can’t be together no more, then once we hanged up i asked myself why we had this such a weird conversation, like what was the porpouse, if it was to fuck ourselves up i can’t go with it, i dont wanna have her in my life that way, i loved her so much so i must show some respect for her, but if was about gettin some answers well i think she had what she wanted.
I think i’m crazy but im not stupid, i can sense what’s she feelin, what she wants and im so scar of doing stupid things because of her, im so fuckin tired and i shouldn’t post things like this, im not supposed to show my weak side to the people but… I am so blue even though it has nothing to do with her.
Just for the record, i found my old data base and there was a post i wrote on April 3 2006, Zi said she was alone her birthday i say she wasn’t its just that i wasn’t what she wanted.
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